“Size” Should Never Outrank “Service”

Andrew Siegel MD  11/11/2017

As I stood in the gateway line during the painful process of boarding an airplane, I caught sight of a poster ad stating the following: “Size should never outrank service.” This referred to the smaller size regional jets that offer amenities including first-class, Wi-Fi, etc. Later, I saw another poster ad for the same airline stating: “How fast the flight goes isn’t always up to pilot.” As a physician interested in sexual/pelvic health and language, I found these sentences with double meanings amusing and entertaining.  The ultimate phallic structure is an aircraft and aeronautics provides a rich metaphor for male sexual function, the topic of today’s entry.  

Large and clunky

Airbus_A380-861,_Airbus_Industrie_AN2032144

By Oleg V. Belyakov – AirTeamImages [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0), CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL 1.2 (http://www.gnu.org/licenses/old-licenses/fdl-1.2.html)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Small and nimble

800px-F-15_vertical_deploy

Above image, public domain

 

Terms that apply to aeronautics and sexual function

Aircraft: a machine capable of flight—the penis

Pilot: the person who occupies the cockpit and controls the aircraft—the possessor of the penis

Cockpit (I really like this word!): the front of the fuselage where the pilots sit—the head of the penis

Fuselage: the body of the aircraft—the shaft of the penis

Horizontal and vertical stabilizers of the tail:  aircraft parts that provide stability to keep it flying straight—the pelvic floor muscles that stabilize and support the penis

Flight: the process of flying that includes a launch, a flight pattern and a landing—a sexual encounter

Launch: the takeoff—obtaining an erection

Flight pattern: the aircraft’s movement after takeoff—the sexual act

Landing: the conclusion and most difficult part of the flight, which requires skill, precision and timing to perform competently — ejaculation/orgasm

 Cruising Altitude: the altitude at which most of a flight is flown in route to a destination—a fully rigid erection

Jet fuel: fuel designed for use in an aircraft—in erectile terms, penile blood flow

Fuel line: the means by which fuel is pumped from the storage tanks to the engine—the penile arteries

Thrust: the propulsive force of an aircraft—the surging power of the erect penis

Throttle: a device for controlling the flow of fuel to an aircraft’s engine—the nerves that control the smooth muscle within the penile arteries and within the erectile tissue

Failure to Launch: a condition in which the aircraft is unable to get airborne—erectile dysfunction

Emergency landing: unanticipated landing before the scheduled arrival time—premature ejaculation

Aborted Landing: when an aircraft is about to land, but the pilot halts the landing and regains altitude deferring the landing—delayed ejaculation

Ground Time: the amount of down time between landing and the next flight—refractory period

Mayday: distress signal indicative of a significant problem with the aircraft or flight—a major sexual failure

Bottom Line:  Aeronautics provides an excellent metaphor for male sexual function.  The pilot can be accorded better control, longer flight times, higher altitudes, as well as launching a second flight with less ground time by attending to a few key measures. Although it is impossible to convert a F-15 Eagle (pictured above) into an Airbus A380 (pictured above), it is a fact that size should never outrank service!  Bigger is not always better as function often trumps form. 

Wishing you the best of health,

2014-04-23 20:16:29

A new blog is posted weekly. To receive a free subscription with delivery to your email inbox visit the following link and click on “email subscription”:  www.HealthDoc13.WordPress.com

Dr. Andrew Siegel is a physician and urological surgeon who is board-certified in urology as well as in female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery.  He is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Surgery at the Rutgers-New Jersey Medical School and is a Castle Connolly Top Doctor New York Metro Area, Inside Jersey Top Doctor and Inside Jersey Top Doctor for Women’s Health. His mission is to “bridge the gap” between the public and the medical community.

Dr. Siegel has authored the following books that are available on Amazon, iBooks, Nook and Kobo:

 MALE PELVIC FITNESS: Optimizing Sexual & Urinary Health

THE KEGEL FIX: Recharging Female Pelvic, Sexual and Urinary Health 

PROMISCUOUS EATING: Understanding and Ending Our Self-Destructive Relationship with Food

Cover

These books are written for educated and discerning men and women who care about health, well-being, fitness and nutrition and enjoy feeling confident and strong.

 

 

 

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